


Star Crossed Lovers

by maria_soederberg



Category: Open Heart (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 21:12:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19472305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maria_soederberg/pseuds/maria_soederberg
Summary: Ethan and Alexandra love each other; it is no secret to people around them. Naveen knows Ethan’s feelings, while Alexandra’s friends knows hers. But everyone else in the hospital doesn’t know what tragedy happens behind closed doors.





	Star Crossed Lovers

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on the song 'Secret Love Song Part II' by Little Mix.

The relationship between Dr. Ethan Ramsey and Dr. Alexandra Rubeski began professional, and tough. Ethan was rude and showed no emotion towards her. Alexandra knew that he just wants her to know that the life of the doctor is not always easy, he wanted to push her to be the best doctor she can be. And she is grateful for that, but she never thought that this emotionless doctor is lonely and lost deep down, just wanting to have some love, he never trusted to deserve. 

First, Alexandra was there for him as a friend, she loved to work together with Ethan her idol, but soon she had to realise that this isn’t only a professional relationship anymore. They fell in love with each other without really knowing how or when this happened. One day they just realised they did. 

They shared wonderful memories, from their first kiss in Miami, over the kiss after an argument to their first time they made love to each other. It was magical whenever they were together, and with each day they fell in love more and more, until Chief Emery decided to go back into surgery and Ethan got ranked higher in the hospital. She knew that now the moments they had are over. In the back of her mind, she remembers Ethan responding to her question what he thinks of a relationship between attendings and residents. He made it clear that it is not a good idea, the patients are priorities and some chemical reaction won’t change that. 

Alexandra’s heart broke that moment, all the future she saw for them disappeared within seconds. Ethan realised that too when their eyes met after Naveen announced the news of him being her boss, now fully that she is on the diagnostic team. 

Alexandra still remembers it as if it was yesterday. Now they life contains secret glances, secret touches and secret meetings. 

_We keep behind closed doors_

A normal day in the hospital for Alexandra and Ethan is taking care of patients while trying to show no one that they long each other. One time they had to intubate a patient and worked perfectly together. As soon as the patient was intubated, they removed their hands, but during that movement their hands touched, and their eyes met. Ethan wants to reach out to her, he wants to pull her close to her and kiss her senseless, but they are in the hospital, so he clears his throat and removes his hands. “I tell the surgeon that we need a lobectomy for this patient.” And with that he left the room.   
Alexandra stares after him, still feeling his warm hand on hers, seeing his blue eyes looking into her green eyes. All she wants is to not hide what they feel, but she knows they get in trouble if they would.

After any incident like that Ethan evades her for the rest of the day, which hurt Alexandra the most. It is already hard enough that she is not allowed to see him outside the hospital, and of course, it also hurt to see him in the hospital, but it is the only time she can see him and remember what love they once had. 

It is always the same, incident of touching, evading each other and then at the end of the day, her pager goes on with a message of Dr. Ramsey seeking a word with her in his office. 

Alexandra doesn’t know she keeps doing it, why she can’t just walk out of this relationship and move on. Why does she hold on to the moment alone in the office?

“Dr. Ramsey, you called me?” Alexandra says in the open door.

“Yes, come in, I’d like to discuss a case with you.” Ethan says motioning her in. 

There is never a case to be discussed. It is just that Ethan longs for her kisses, for her close to him and this is the only way for them to do it. 

Alexandra enters the office and closes the door, locking it before turning to Ethan and walking over to him. Ethan grabs her hand and pulls her towards him onto her lap so that she straddles him. Alexandra strokes his cheek and through his hair. “I missed you today.” Alexandra admits. 

“I missed you too.” Ethan whispers and looks onto her lips, stroking through her black hair. “I want to kiss you.” Ethan murmurs close to her lips.

“Then do it.” Alexandra grabs his hair, making him look up to her. “You don’t need to ask for permission, ever.” 

And then their lips meet in a longing kiss, as if they haven’t kissed for month. although they do it every day, secretly in his office where no eyes could see them. 

Day for Day loving each other secretly behind closed doors.

_Every time I see you, I die a little more_

It hurts Alexandra that she can’t come into the hospital and kiss him a good morning, or that she can’t come to the hospital with him together after she woke up next to him in their shared bedroom. Instead when she comes into the hospital and sees Ethan looking at her for a short moment but then turning away from her, excusing himself and leaves the hall, she is reminded that this waking up next to him is just wishful thinking of a woman who is in love. 

Her friends notice that Alexandra is quiet whenever she comes into the locker room. 

“You know, we are doctors and we notice that something is wrong with you.” Sienna speaks in a worried voice to her. 

“I know Sienna. But I am okay, I just have a lot on my plate. And I don’t want to disappoint my boss.” Alexandra explains, leaving the locker room to see her patients. 

Boss. This word will be the death of Alexandra. She fell in love with Ethan knowing that he is his boss. When he quit, he let go and finally gave in to their longings. He told her that he loves her, that she is worth taking risks. But then he came back, and everything changed. Now all she hears from him is ‘I am your boss, it is inappropriate.’ ‘We have to take care of the patient’ or ‘Not here, someone could see us.’ 

Whenever she is close to him and sees him, she feels her heart break. They might have these secrets moment in his office, but even there they have their interruptions and cannot give in completely to the love they feel for each other. It feels like she dies a little more every time she sees him and is reminded that this man will never be fully hers.

_Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls_   
_It’ll never be enough_

Alexandra is grateful that Ethan didn’t decide to throw their whole relationship away. He still let her be around him, just in secrets. And as much as Alexandra loves these meetings, she also hates them. They want her to want more, she doesn’t just want to sneak around, she suddenly wants more. 

Every day, waking up next to Ethan, kissing him awake. Maybe even make breakfast for him before they arrive together in the hospital. Within the hospital she wants to laugh together with Ethan, showing all those nurses that the doctor is taken and not available.   
Maybe one day, she wants to have his name and confuse new residents when they expected Dr. Ethan Ramsey but instead Dr. Alexandra Ramsey arrives. She even thought about children, at least two but she won’t mind having more than two. And when they move together, the house should have a garden too, in case they get a dog. 

But she knows that this is a dream that might never come true. How would they be able to have that when for Ethan having a good friendship is too inappropriate. How could she ask for more when he is not even willing to take that risk? And how much longer can Alexandra keep this going?

_As you drive me to my house_   
_I can’t stop these silent tears from rolling down_

Sometimes when they visited an event from Edenbrook, Ethan suggests bringing her home, so she gets home safe. Whenever someone asks, he just explains that the well-being of his team is his priority. But the truth is, he just wants to be close to her, wants to tell her how beautiful she looks in her dress. How much he wished that he could have been the one dancing with him, but people could see how they look at each other and suspect something. 

“You really look beautiful in that dress.” Ethan whispers, taking her hand kissing the back of her hand. 

“Thank you.” Alexandra responds, but looking out of the window. When she sees her apartment building, her heart breaks. 

As big as Boston is, sometimes even that town is too small, and the way back home doesn’t take long enough for Alexandra to enjoy the time with Ethan. 

“We see us tomorrow in the hospital.” Ethan looks over to her and meets her green eyes. 

“Yeah…” Alexandra leans forward to kiss him but stops herself and moves back. “Sorry. I forgot the car has windows.” Alexandra is close to opening her door when Ethan’s hand makes her look at him and he pulls forward giving her a small peck and leaning his forehead against hers. “I am sorry that it has to be like this.” Ethan says. It is audible that he is as sad about this situation than her. He is just better in hiding it. 

“I am sorry too.” Alexandra leans away, looking into his eyes and turns away before he can see the silent tears falling down her cheek. She can feel his gaze on her, but she doesn’t dare to look back at him. She cannot watch him drive off when all she wants is for him to come upstairs and cuddle with him in her bed. 

_You and I both have to hide on the outside_   
_Where I can’t be yours and you can’t be mine_

Boston might be big, but Ethan and Alexandra are basically meeting all the time. It is like fate wants them to meet all over again. Alexandra just doesn’t know where the point is. Does it want to see how much a human heart can take; how much Alexandra is willing to give up being with the man she loves?

Normal couples would kiss each other, drink a coffee before departing again, but they have to act like they don’t know each other in private. Everyone has to keep believing that Ethan and Alexandra are just attending and resident. They have to hide what they really feel. Ethan sees it in her eyes that she just wants to be close to him, and Alexandra sees that he wants it as much as she wants.

But it seems that even when fate let them meet over and over again, they won’t be together. In this life, she cannot ever be fully his, while he will never be fully hers.

_Why can’t I hold you in the streets?_

How much Alexandra wishes to go home with Ethan; hand in hand, embraced in each other’s arms, talking about how beautiful the night sky is, or how great the shift was. But they can’t hold each other in the streets. Ethan won’t let her, he made it perfectly clear that for him it is nothing more than a chemical reaction they have to keep in bay. 

Alexandra has to watch him leave together with Harper, laughing together and driving off together. She envies Harper. Sometimes she wishes she had been born ten years earlier, so she would have come here at the same time as Ethan. Then they wouldn’t need to hide, and they could be together without anyone being offended by it. 

They could be like Harper and Ethan, leaving together, talking and living the life they want. But while Ethan has Harper to go along with, Alexandra has no one she wants to do this with. She cannot let it happen, whenever she tried, her mind wanders over to Ethan and she imagines how it would be to do this with Ethan. 

_Why can’t I kiss you on the dance floor?_

On events of Edenbrook, Ethan and Alexandra are invited as the best team of the diagnostic team at Edenbrook. But this is just another reminder for them, that they cannot enjoy these events to the fullest. Of course, the part where they talk about new technology for Edenbrook Hospital, they can be together because it has something to do with the job, but then when it comes to the pleasant parts – dancing, drinking and laughing together, they depart. 

Ethan watches her dance with her friends, but she doesn’t look happy, it is like her body is here but her mind somewhere else. Ethan knows that he is the reason why she is so unhappy that he is causing her to fall apart slowly but steady.

He hates himself for that. She used to be so cheerful, smiling whenever she can. Nothing ever made it break, not even a dying patient. She kept being happy, but now he took that away from her. And he doesn’t know much he can keep doing it.

While Alexandra dances with Bryce she wonders how it would be to dance with Ethan instead. She hates herself for this. In front of her stands an amazing man, kind maybe a bit cocky but in moments where she seems to need someone, he turns serious and asks her what is wrong. When she thought of giving up her job at Edenbrook he was there for her. Why couldn’t she fall in love with Bryce Lahela instead? She could kiss him on the dance floor, she could walk with him through the street and laugh, movie nights together before falling asleep in each other arms. But instead she fell in love with someone she can only admire from the distance.

_I wish that it could be like that_   
_Why can’t it be like that? ‘Cause I’m yours._

And oh, how much Alexandra wishes the tables would turn. Ethan would be in her arms, her boyfriend that everyone knows about, the man she shows to everyone – her parents, her friends and even co-workers. But it is not like that even though Ethan captured her hard completely. She cannot imagine a life without him, and as much as she hates to admit it. She is his, she won’t ever be able to love someone else as much as she loves Ethan. She cannot let this go although it would be better for her and her heart. 

_Why can’t I say that I’m in love?_   
_I wanna shout it from the rooftops_   
_I wish that it could be like that_   
_Why can’t it be like that? Cause I’m yours_

Whenever she is in a bar and someone asks for her number, she wishes that she could scream that she is taken. But what could she possibly say? ‘Sorry I am taken but he is never around?’ She wants to tell everyone that she is in love with her boss, Dr. Ethan Ramsey and that he is the reason why she feels so sad lately. But she has to keep the truth to herself and has to lie to friends and family. ‘It is just the job’ ‘no I had a terrible shift’ ‘I am just tired’. She hates to lie but she has no other chance. 

_It’s obvious you’re meant for me_

It is obvious, probably for everyone. Sienna knows that they had a moment together. She was the pushing Alexandra and Ethan together when they weren’t attending and resident. Sienna wonders if it was a good idea now that she sees how this all affected Alexandra’s happiness. But then, she remembers that Alexandra was in love with him even before Sienna pushed her. It was something no one could have changed. Not Alexandra, and especially not Sienna. 

Sienna sees that it’s not only Alexandra who loves him. No, she can see that Ethan needs all his self-control not to give in. His longing gaze when Alexandra is not looking, the jealous gaze and hard grip on his folders whenever a nurse or patients hits on her. They are meant for each other, and Sienna wishes she could do something that they can finally be together. 

_Every piece of you, it just fits perfectly._

Ethan fits perfectly to Alexandra. He knows that Alexandra has a exhausting job, time consuming and that mysteries are something she wants to be solved. Ethan is not different at all. It is probably the reason why he fell in love with her. She is so alike that it feels like Ethan has found another part of himself. 

And Alexandra, whenever she was in Ethan’s arm, she felt safe and home. As if after a long trip of searching for something she missed, she has finally found it. Ethan was the missing piece she needed to feel complete. 

_Every second, every thought, I’m in so deep._

There is not a moment Alexandra doesn’t think of him. It is like Ethan is all she can think of as if there are no other things she could think of. Wherever she is, she always associates it with Ethan.   
Visiting a restaurant with Sienna? Her mind wanders to how it would be to sit with him here.   
Seeing a patient and diagnose them? Her mind wanders to how it would be if Ethan would be here, joking together with her. Walking through the streets with Rafael? Her mind wanders to how it would be to visit these places with Ethan. 

It frustrates Alexandra, because she doesn’t even know if Ethan has the same problem. She knows he feels the same at least a part of what she feels for him. 

Ethan wishes that he could tell her what he really feels that whenever he sees a couple that he wonders how it would be with her. Whenever he passes jewellery store he wonders how she would react if he asks her to marry him. Whenever he sees a church and a bride in front of it kissing her husband, his mind instantly changes the person to him and her. And he is as much frustrated as Alexandra is. 

They both wish they could make these thoughts stop. 

_But I’ll never show it on my face_

They are sad and tired. They cannot show this on their faces. But they can hide who the reason is behind it. He doesn’t show anyone that he hates the people at Edenbrook and the rules of attending and residents to keep it professional, he doesn’t show anyone how much he hates not being able to show that his heart is breaking whenever he realises that they have no future together. 

Alexandra doesn’t show that she hates the people for making rules this inconvenient. She hates Ethan for not breaking this rule and ignore the stares of other people in this hospital. She even sometimes hates Ines for being so happy with Zaid. They can be what Alexandra wishes for Ethan and her. 

_Why can’t I hold you in the streets?_   
_Why can’t I kiss you on the dance floor?_

Even when she has free days, she has no free time away from Ethan wandering through her mind. When she walks through Greece’s streets and a street musician lights up the streets with a perfect melody. She instantly thinks of Ethan in his office, looking on his phone where he has photos of her and him together. She wonders how it would be to walk these streets with Ethan, embraced in each other’s arms and then complain that they are too warm for cuddling. She wonders how people would react them dancing to this music and then share a romantic kiss together. She wonders how it would be to be with Ethan, like Ines is with Zaid.

_I wish that it could be like that_   
_Why can’t it be like that? Cause I’m yours._

Who doesn’t want to see the world together with their significant other? Who doesn’t want to share the most beautiful and romantic suite the hotel can offer to spend wonderful days with the person you love? Everyone wants this, making memories with them together instead of collecting them alone.

Alexandra wants this so badly that she cannot even enjoy the moments alone. No matter how hard she tries to enjoy something beautiful, she will always be reminded that other couples can share this but she can’t just turn over to the man she loves and tell them how wonderful this place is, because he is not with her. 

_I don’t wanna live love this way_   
_I don’t wanna hide us away_   
_I wonder if it ever will change_   
_I’m living for the day, someday_

_When you hold me in the street_   
_And you kiss me on the dance floor_

Alexandra is tired to walk through this world with something missing, with Ethan not being on her side. She hates that she always arrives alone to any parties with her friends when she wants Ethan by her side.  
She is tired of hiding her real feelings, she is tired to envy all the couple on the streets. She is just tired of the love life she has right now. 

She wonders if this would ever change. Will there a time come where they can love each other openly? Will there be a time where she can travel with him, where she can kiss him on the streets, dance with him to a melody only they can hear. 

But then she remembers the age gap between Ethan and her. There will never be a time like that. He will always be her boss and she will always be ranked below him. There will never be a time where she can love him the way she does. Ethan will never belong to her, and she finally has to understand that. But can she walk away like this? She doesn’t know but she has to try. She has to try to forget it, forget the life they might have had when everything just would be different. 

But as long as she tries to forget it she will still be haunted by memories, wishful thinking and questions… 

_Oh, why can’t I hold you in the streets?_   
_Why can’t I kiss you on the dance floor?_   
_I wish that it could be like that ‘Cause I’m yours_   
_Why can’t I say that I’m in love?_   
_I wanna shout it from the rooftops_   
_I wish that it could be like that_   
_Why can’t we be like that Cause I’m yours_

_Why can’t we be like that?_   
_Wish we could be like that_

Hunted by something they cannot have because they met at the wrong time.


End file.
